This week I’ve been flying solo while Geoff is at King Of Hammers. I really wanted to go, but truthfully, it just seemed like so. much. work. to figure out everything. Have you ever realized how many bags it takes to pack for two kids? Diapers, wipes, change of clothes, snacks, stroller, a whole other set of clothes just in case the weather is the opposite of what you planned for, medicine (you just never know when you’ll need it), sippie cups, hats, jackets, 10 stuffed animals (because you had to argue it down from 50), their special blankets… I could go on and on! Of course a lot of these things aren’t necessary, but they sure make the trip so much easier.
Being a mom can look so much easier than it really is. It is by far the hardest yet most rewarding thing I’ve ever had to do. Sometimes I think we forget how much work it really takes to raise our precious babies, yet we just seem to do it and wonder why we’re so tired by the end of the day.
The other day I was laying in bed cuddling my almost two year old (where did time go), while Alayna was laying next to me watching Dora on my iPad, with scandal on tv in the background and a basket full of laundry that needed put away at 8:30 pm! What an amazing mess we had going on. But you know what? Nothing beats those cuddles I got from those babies!
Of course, I still lose my shit when Alayna takes an hour to put on her shoes because she is twirling and singing around the house, or when Jaxon straight tells me “no” when I ask him to pick something up and throws his cup with juice splashing all over the wall. But I’ve realized that I want to be the mom who stops to sing and twirl with Alayna; the mom who ignores the mess until they are truly done playing; the mom whom allows her kids to be creative and explore!
Some days I wonder if I’ve done enough. Have I shown them how much they are loved today? Did I yell too much? Did I punish to harshly? Did we pray enough? Why didn’t I just let him have that third cookie? Did I hug them enough? But at the end of the day, I just did my best and pray that God takes it from there and that He will guide me in to being a good parent. Thank God for new days and His abundant grace because having kids is chaos and laughter and messiness and love and patience and stress all tied together. Sometimes we have to stop and give ourselves a break and thank God for our messy yet incredible life.